The early days were stressful, scripted, and tight—until I learned to trust the flow.
I have a confession.
It used to be so stressful for me to prepare for my women’s circles.
No, this isn’t going to turn into a poem—but I want to be honest about how it all began.
It was around 2009. I had attended a local women’s circle in my area and left deeply inspired. I wanted to create something of my own—with my own sisters, my friends, my community. I didn’t have a guide, a teacher, a textbook. There wasn’t much online yet. All I had was a strong call inside me:
Hold a circle on every new moon.
And I took that call seriously.
I would prepare thoroughly—scripts, rituals, questions, everything laid out like a ceremony. But when the actual circle began and everyone arrived… I was tense. My mind raced, worried I might forget something. And in that state, I couldn’t really listen. I was too busy managing it all in my head.
The first year was full of this. Tightness. Overthinking. Over-preparing.
When I’m stressed, I can’t flow—and when I can’t flow, spirit can’t speak.
But eventually, something shifted.
We introduced the talking stick ritual, a sacred practice rooted in Native American traditions. The rule was simple: only the one holding the stick may speak. Everyone else must listen.
But here’s the deeper layer:
You’re not even supposed to think about what you’re going to say while someone else is speaking. You listen—not just with your ears, but with your full presence.
And this changed everything.
We started to listen more deeply. Speak more slowly. Allow more space.
And I—finally—began to relax.
I stopped scripting so much. I let things emerge. I let the group co-create the experience. Humor returned. Lightness came back. And the circles became less about performance and more about presence.
As above, so below.
The jewel is in the flow.
That’s what the practice taught me: holding space is not about getting it perfect. It’s about trusting what wants to come through—and being humble enough to receive it with everyone else.
